"When I am an old woman I shall wear purple”
by Doug Brodie
In this blog
“With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.”
“A billion here, a billion there …”
/1. “With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.”
As a company we are probably unique in having a section in our website that outlines for you how to write and give a eulogy. It’s in our Baby Boomer Toolbox, and if you’ve been through the process you’ll understand why it’s there. Normally you can’t ask your parents by the time you need to.
This week we have added to the Toolbox a letter from a client that tells the story of early onset dementia, a sister who has recently been sectioned at the age of 70. They wrote in because she says she wished someone else had warned her about what happens and how to manage things – you don’t get taught this at school, and stats suggest you and I will get touched by this at some time in our lives.
“And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells”
Being informed is being prepared – the outcome of the sister’s situation is one of contentment, and she signs off cracking a joke about One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest!
“It was blustery and rainy on the Heath when my phone rang: my oldest sister with news that another of our sisters was about to be sectioned.
It started with a suggested diagnosis of early onset Alzheimer’s, distressing enough when your sister is only 6 years older than you, and progresses rapidly to a whole host of symptoms…”
Warning, by Jenny Joseph (1961)
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
/2. “A billion here, a billion there …”
One of the helpful aspects of listening and reading output of others, is that we get to use the heavy lifting that others have done. When we were small the idea of unfathomable wealth was a millionaire – The Bishop’s Avenue in Hampstead is still known as ‘Millionaire’s Row’ even though £1 million would scarcely by you a house in Harlesden these days, or the price of an exotic car parked in that NW3 garage.
Our chums at 7IM have obviously had time on their hands and pondered on the £2.5 trillion size of the UK national debt. Here’s their maths:
“Big numbers are hard to put in perspective. We hear millions, billions and trillions thrown around a lot in finance, but it requires a real effort to think about how much that really is.
A useful way of gaining perspective is to turn it into time periods (helpfully calculated by NASA, so you know it’s accurate*).
“If you went back in time for one million seconds, it would be Friday, 23rd June. 12 days.
If you went back in time for one billion seconds, it would be Sunday, 27th October 1991. Nearly 32 YEARS.
“But the really mind blowing one is this…
If you went back in time for one trillion seconds, you’d be 32,000 years in the past. Days of the week would be irrelevant, you’d be more worried about the fact that ice sheets covered most of the UK, and your closest friend was this guy:”
Ed: as a quick loop back to the paragraph at the start mentioning sharks v jelly fish, and interesting fact uncovered by scientists is that dinosaurs lived 245-66 million years ago, however sharks have been in our oceans for 400 million years. Blimey.
And talking about trillions, an email dropped into my inbox this week from Visualcapitalist.com who have taken a snapshot of US companies that really are printing money, measured by their profits in 2022 – cost of living crisis?
